nablopomo: just me (and my hair)

>> 11.13.2009

a little over 3 years ago, i made one of the biggest decisions in my life. it was one of those big ones that required thought, and tears, and maybe i shouldn'ts, it was definitely not one of my just do it! moments.

yup... i went natural.

i traded in the all day outings at the hair dresser, the relaxers, the burned scalp, the security and the cute flipped hairstyles for my natural texture. my curls, my fear, my confidence and my heightened sexuality. i must admit there are days when i look at my hair pulled into a cheek bone revealing puff and i think to myself 'i miss my straight hair'. i stare at my face, the face which puzzles so many people "where are you from?", and i remind myself that i am not my hair,

but i am.... well kind of....

in a way i have become my hair. natural, without lies, complex (who am i kidding, i was always complex), attention grabbing (who am i kidding there too?). i just love walking into a spot and being one of the only women rocking her hair. and i do mean rocking, because it is fabulous, i am fabulous and fabulosity can't just be wtf? you gotta rock that shit! loud and proud! ( i just recently dyed the back half burgandy), and sexy as hell. " your a freak aren't you? " apparently being a poet and a natural woman equals down to earth, freak.. it was a triple whammy when i was a vegetarian.

i never realized how much men black, and white love natural hair, love to feel the texture, love to smell it even. a man seems to really appreciate the beauty of the unrulyness of my hair. as poetry guy says, and i quote "i wanna fuck her hard enough that her hair will get so nappy, i can't run my finger's through it"... yes baby, i'm sure.

don't get me wrong, it was hella hard. i am very high maintenace. not gold digger high maintenace, i just like to look good, so going from straight, always done, hair to hair i didn't know what to do with, was like me throwing myself in front of a slow moving train, and not being able to run, nowhere! but i've fallen in love with my hair, this is one time that i thank God for the diversity in my genes (so called 'good hair'), i can go from straight to curly anytime i want. i rock mohawks, fohawks, chiney bumps, french braids, twist outs, wash and go's, and the almighty puff! however i cannot rock an afro! (i don't have the texture for it...sigh). plus i have saved soo much money, it hurts my feelings knowing the trips, and shoes, and purses, and bills, i have spent on my hair. damn!

do i want to go back, no.... well sometimes, but even if i did, there are a dozen people who would kill me before i sat in the hair dressers chair. i made the choice to come over, not because i'm going back to africa, or because i'm joining the cause, but simply i wanted a change. and i'm making the choice to stay. i am not my hair, my hair is a manifestation of who i am. i am me.

teheehehee, plus i love to feel a strong firm hand with a firm hold on my coils jerking my head back to ask me 'do you like that'.
for all my napptural sistahs, or those wanting to do it check out this website, it's helped me and i hope it will help you.


Anonymous,  November 13, 2009 at 7:25 PM  

Enjoyable to read, glad you could post this.

♥PrettyPacino♥ November 13, 2009 at 9:26 PM  

"i wanna fuck her hard enough that her hair will get so nappy, i can't run my finger's through it"...

...OMG. Love that quote.

But anyways, I also loved the post, and the point you made about falling in love with your hair. I recently decided to go natural, as well, and I'm rather excited about the journey. I love to wear my hair curly, and I figured why not keep it natural? Relaxers are just added stress on my hair if I'm gonna roll it every night anyway, right? Lol. SO wish me luck!

PS: My man loves the natural too! Added bonus! :-)

the.kisser November 13, 2009 at 10:41 PM  

thanx secretia. i appreciate your kind words., yeah he says a lot of loveable things... thanx for the comment, and i'm glad you are a nappy sistah too. defin keep yourself educated and rock that shit mama! LOL

SinfulLyo November 14, 2009 at 9:27 PM  

sissssta! i went from spending $70-$80/month on my hair [and lord knows how many hours] to spending $10 every 2-3 weeks IF even that [a little flirting w/ my barber goes a LONG way]!

natural hair is so sexy and it takes a strong woman to do it, to explore the realm of the unknown. i get lots of compliments and females saying "i could never pull that off" and i always tell them "you never know if you don't try!"

Da_Kween November 14, 2009 at 11:07 PM  

I'm glad you love your is indeed a journey. I struggle with when...not if...I should go natural again. I was natural for 7yrs and got tired...but I think it was because I had NO clue how to take care of it. Albeit...everyone's budget isn't so blessed to be minimal like yours...your heritage probably DOES lend to some of the ease...but, if one must do it, it should be on their terms, and for their own reasons. YOU (I am sure) look wonderful...not, because you've embraced your hair, but because you've embraced your SELF...the hair is bonus!

the.kisser November 14, 2009 at 11:25 PM  

SinfulLyo... natural hair defin is 'the unknown' for a lot of women, for many reasons. natural hair is sexy, more for the confidence one needs to rock it. and flirting is always fun ;)

kween... for sure it is a journey, there are soo many times i wanna perm my hair again, but i love new experiences, and this is defin a new experience for me and i'm still learning.

and you are right, hair is personal and must be dealt with on your own terms. i didn't join a cause or a movement, i'm not subject to theories of 'good hair/bad hair', i just chose to try something new. and i'm learning to rock it. yup! the hair is defin bonus.

great comments!

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