soooo, here is an update since my last kiss to you guys...
celibacy is not new to me, i've done it twice before, one year each. it's all really a mindset for me, when i tell myself i am not gonna have sex, it stops becoming my focus and i'm able to focus on other things, and that's what i need right now. my focus right now is on rebuilding a relationship with God, as much as i loved being who i became apart from him, i missed him sooo much, and the peace and joy i had with him, i can't recreate that on my own...so i stopped running and ran back to my daddy's arms.
i still haven't written a poem, damn! it's been sooo long, but i'm waiting,..sigh.
the men in my life...lol...the men. poetry guy didn't respond well to me, as he put it "taking it away from him"..but he's always been supportive of everything i've done, so he's in line with my decision...
smooth (my ex) and i are drifting apart and that doesn't make me as sad as maybe it should. i will always love him, but time has been good to us, we had 6 awesome years together, and it may be time to just let go. bus driver was absoultely livid that i locked my legs, cause that reinforces my no to him...hahaha, he's such a fool sometimes. and Red, i haven't heard from him since that blow up over me posting his text messages on here, and frankly i don't care if i never hear from him again. some friendships are just not worth pursuing.
thank you all for you love, and your comments, it took me SOOO long to reply cause everytime i read them i got super emotional. thank you cook for your email *sniffling*..... i've really enjoyed my time with all of you and it touched me soo much that you were soo understanding and encouraging...oh oh (choking up). i've started a new blog, which is clearly going to be different from this one, definitely less sex, and more about my crazy funny life, my inspirations, my love of randoms, my struggles and my journey back to daddy.
so feel free to follow, not out of obligation cause i hate and despise that, but out of love. i've always loved quality over quanitity, and not everything is for everyone.
i love you guys so much, and i wish you all the best in life as i know you do to me.
kisses to all of you!