late night ramblings on truth

i love truth, and honesty. as you can tell (if you are a regular reader), i try to be as honest with myself as i can, which is a big feat for me, because as i stated before i am not a very honest person.

i really am not. i can tell a lie like no one's business, and more often than not i get away with it too. but life has a funny way about it, and a few years ago, i decided to embrace honesty. and i've embraced it to the fullest. it hasn't been easy (let me tell you), but this is one time when my stubborness works in my favor. and the reason for my turn around is this... i was accosted by the truth.

and the truth was this... 'when you come in contact with something you deem to be true, you are now accountable to that truth'. there it is was. so simple, so big, and so life changing. let me break it down so even my blonde self can fully grasp it... when i hear something or realize something that my soul (my will, my intellect and my emotion) agrees with, i am now held to that truth, and i have to make a choice whether or not to live my life denying that truth, or embracing that truth.

if for my whole life i was taught that the sky is red,

and one day i wake up, look to the sky and i see the

most wondrous velvet blue, and my soul

(will, intellect and emotion) identifies that the sky is blue,

i now have to decide, 'do i live as if the sky is still red,

or do i embrace the truth and live as if it is blue'.

these are a few truths that i have come across for myself...and what i now live my life by.

truth #1 : happiness must always be the bottom line. i see people living miserable ass lives, just because they compromised on their happiness, and i determined within myself that happiness will always be my goal. at the end of the day, i must can look at my life and fall asleep content. anything else is not an option.

truth #2 : words are life and words are death. everything that comes out of our mouth carries a tag, and can help us succeed, or bring us failure. words hurt more than stones, and words heal more than medicine. i have to be so careful what comes out of my mouth, knowing me you will come to realize i can be horribly, bitingly sarcastic, and i love to tease people... but even in jest words can do a lot of harm...i hate that truth!

truth #3 : the word friend has lost it's meaning. we don't even know what a true friend is, or the responsibilites it carries. when i find a friend, i only call them friend after i've fallen in love with their spirit.  and i love to fall in love with people's spirits, it's such a beautiful thing, because when you are tied to someone's spirit, the bond is that much stronger and more fulfilling. and it will come to be known that i am fiercely loyal... maybe annoyingly so...idk.

truth #4 : say what you mean, and mean what you say, everything else is just verbal diahhrea. you can drag your hand through it, trying to find some substance, but it will just be a pile of brown (or green)  watery shit in your hand. hence my quest for honesty... liars fail at life with this.

truth #5 : advancement and liberty can breed ignorance. not everything is a right. we have mistaken privilages for rights, and sometimes we need to shut the hell up and sit down.... children suing parents for grounding them from their 'toys' and the courts ruling in the rotten kids favor..what bloody the hell on earth?!

truth #6 : no one has life easy. many people like to believe that some people have life easy, so they can justify their crying of rivers. everyone goes through crap, life is unfair to everyone, mansion or street corner, we all go through something. sometimes i need to talk about it, as a therapy or as a means of encouraging someone else, sometimes i need to shut the hell up and move the hell on.

truth #7: someone, somewhere around the world is doing, thinking, pondering the exact same thing you are. this baffles my mind everytime i think on it. i am not alone, we are not alone. when i cry, someone is crying along with me, when i am happy, so is someone else...when i am getting the best head of my life, someone will be cumming along with me (had to throw that in there). we are never alone.

truth #8 : God does not put up with fuckery. very rarely do i talk about my past life, and i have my own reasons for that, but i grew up in the church, i was basically born at the altar, i was even getting ready to go into full time minstry, so when i do talk about it, i know exactly what i'm talking about. it pisses me off, when people act like God is a damn idiot, like he's grinning all up and down your shit. news flash, he's not, and as much as that is not my life anymore, i know better than to act like me and God are batty and bench, and go disrespecting him, acting like a damn fool. and i'm not going to hide behind the all too played out "don't judge me" crap, because truthfully if my actions do not match up with my words, someone should call my ass out...hence truth#4

truth #9 : love conquers all. i am a hopeless romantic, who has had her heart broken many times, but i will always believe in love. the love of life, the love of endurance, the love of awareness and self acceptance, the love of peace, joy and happiness, the love of believing. love conquers all.

the truth hurts. it has hurt me many a times, but only because it has challenged me to grow up, to change the way i think and to enhance my quality of life. so pursuit of this life, i will continue to embrace honesty, truth and the challenges that come with it. and really, i love the velvety blue of this sky much better.

.kisses.

Read more...

my week in texts

: he broke her neck, he back flipped on her f'n face like who does that?...and the dj said 'she ras dead drown, dat look serious'. wow never ever before.

: wowww!!! i just took in your text about good sex. lol, you and your twitterholics don't have any sense.

: yeah, she's still a virgin, and i know when she bruk out, she's gonna be out there.

: do i get to unwrap you?.......ok, just lemme know when you figure out that tree is fake and you want real pine. <--- really? 3in dicks shouldn't talk about real pine

: turn on your webcam, let's play.

: i will eat it off your chest..... i do wanna play again though.

: ya, he's the type to lock something down quickly. i'm not up for that right now. i'm commitmentphobic lol.

: um ye, but i'm disgusted with him, i think back to his antics and i want to vomit.

: hail no! you will not catch me dead amid the stupid ass people that think they're getting such a good deal. damn fools.

BONUS text convo between myself and bus driver

dec 25 1:35am - 2:29am

" i guess you found a new dick to please you"

"ummm, who is this?"

"wow and you erased my number too, nice"

k***? why the randomness? it's 1:39 in the morning..."

"thoughts of your sweet pussy woke me"

"lol... you haven't had my sweet pussy for a couple of years"

"but i've seen her drip"

"true.... you have. but you have other pussies to drip for you"

"just like you and your other dicks"

"i only have one dick"

"let's be real, you don't want to date me, but need a man to fuck you good when you need it. i'm that guy. these guys you keep fucking do nothing for you"

"k*** you just hate knowing someone else is fucking me.

you only want my pussy cause someone else has it"

"no, i wanted it before"

"sigh... you're right. i don't understand why though...

you have pussy all around you"

"it's your's i want. to me, it could be the best i ever had"

" lol.... i highly doubt it. i know what's going to happen,

if you get it, you're gonna bounce (again)

"stop with that me bouncing stuff. i wanna beat it now and for a very long time after"

"lol"

"so...?"

"sooo, what do you want me to say k***?"

"do you wanna see me unwrap my dick?"

"on webcam?" <--- i'm hoping this was drunk texting

and he fell asleep.

.kisses.

Read more...

cocktales and goodbyes

continued from pink lips and goodbyes, read it here and follow the colors

his eyes immediately light up, as his dick jumps up to meet my mouth. we both laugh breaking the comfortable silence that had settled. my nails follow the wet line of my tongue, etching this memory forever into his skin, sharp inhales signal to me that i’ve dug too deep, i smile. hovering over his dick, i pause and take a deep breath inhaling the sweetness of his manhood, i bury my face into the patch of hair adorning it, and his body trembles with anticipation. i kiss him. soft, light pecks on the tip of his head causes it to jump. i kiss him again, this time with a little texture. swirling my tongue around his pink sensitivity, i proceed to nibble it like the chocolate delight it is “how many licks until i hit the cream” i wonder to myself.


lick. lick. lick.
stroke. stroke.
longggg stroke.
lick.

tight stroke.

not forgetting the good part of any chocolate bar, i continue to stroke as my mouth pays attention to his nuts...

ass pushed up in the air. perky boobs barely hanging anywhere. i’m a slave to the creation lying before me. the septor in my mouth, i look at him, his face less than serene begging for me to suck his dick. i straighten up, exposing my golden skin to his hungry eyes, his fingers caress my navel as i release my curls from its band. gazing at him, i hold the brown longing in his eyes with mine, as a drop of spit falls purposefully from my lips onto his dick. i give him what he wants. groans, and deep breaths escape from his throat, his hands pulling at my curls, his dick loving the sweet wetness of my mouth. up and down, i use my hands to stroke his shaft as my tongue invades the tip of his dick, pushing my tongue into his hole, his leg begins to tremble...uh uh hun..not happening yet, i slow down, and proceed to make love.

eyes fixed on my pink lips covering his chocolate, he mutters "look at your lips. i love your lips on my dick" his hands, strong yet trembling turn me around so he is gazing at the length of my body, i knew what he wanted. cocking my ass, and spreading my legs i make preparation to receive his fingers, oops.. my pussy juice dripped onto the bed. his hands begin to caress me, and then.... “ouch! damn it!”, my skin red and stinging welcomes his smacks, and kneads, and swirling my ass in the air, i create the rhythm his fingers fuck to. my mouth speeds up, sucking the tip, i pull a trick i think he’s never had before and his gasps tells me i’m right. “what the fuck?” he said as his eyelids fluttered, i laughed.

on intervals, i suck and nibble, his body tensing and relaxing on my whim while i tricked his ass out, “okay, okay, i’m reacting”. i pause to take a breath and he siezes his chance, standing up he thrusts forward, fucking my mouth, and between soft teeth dragging and my tongue, i blow him out. hand fast in my hair, his grip tightens as he continually pushes to the back of my throat. fuck! i’m gagging, he smirks. hands still entangled in my hair he tips my head up “come up and kiss me, i want to cum inside of you”......

.kisses.

Read more...

'tis the season

‘tis the season, for bustle, hustle, gifts, food, family, friends, and love.

i’m not one to celebrate christmas as it is widely celebrated and accepted, it’s been about 2 years since i’ve stopped, but that doesn’t mean i don’t find joy in the happiness of the season.

so in celebration of this joyous time, i hope for you all joy, peace, happiness, awareness, kisses, affectionate glances, cake, icing, hope and laughter. may faith and trust find you well, and may you strive to be different from the norm and create your own traditions with those you love.

that is what i love about the seasons of life, we are able to make our own traditions, to veer of the path and be unique in our celebrations. i don’t celebrate christmas, but i indulge in the giving, the loving, the selflessness, the pride, the passion and the hope of the season. i indulge myself in those around me daily which on one hand takes away from the special-ness of the time, but on the other hand it adds to it...uhmmmm...weird.

kisses to all of you, enjoy the pain of a long held smile on your face and eat some ice cream (and rum cake)for me.

'if you have something to do, someone to love and something to hope for, everyday becomes a celebration'

Read more...

pink lips and goodbyes

‘yeah come over’
‘ok, i’ll be there soon’
7:33pm i lock my house door
8:15pm ‘baby, i’m here’

warm almost hot shower drops rain down on my body as he stares at me “why are you looking at me like that” i ask, with a touch of attitude, covering up my uneven breasts. his hands, which bring me soo much pleasure time and time again pulls my shy insecurities away. ‘can’t i look at the body i love?’ eyes full of care gaze at me and settles on my full, now swollen lips ‘baby, your lips are so pink, i bet no man other than me can get them that pink’ the pink fullness parts and before devouring his perfectly formed lips, i shrug ‘i love a good kiss’.

‘honey can you stop being difficult for one minute and let me just fuck you, damn’. i had just walked in from the cold, and already we were arguing. i met that remark with silence. i’m mad at him for some stupid female reason, he sees me pouting, knowing full well it’s because i really don’t want him to leave. ‘you know what? stay there, i don’t want to fuck you anymore’ his tipsy ass falls on the bed and i make my move. ‘i didn’t drive my ass all the way here to not get fucked!’ i demand. stripping off my clothes, swiftly but seductively, i climb on the bed hoping he notices i wore his favourite bra... ‘get off of me’ he declares. i bite down and leave my mark.

his hands, rubbing my breasts as the shower washes off all scents of our separate lives, strokes me into relaxation. tonight for these few hours we will smell only of each other. hugging, caressing, moaning as i rub soap all over his body, fingers lingering over peaked nipples, his hands find their way to my ass as he cups them and holds me close. shower water annoyingly gets in between the mingling of our skin, the shower water is no longer welcome. i tip toe, kissing his dick with my pussy lips, ‘taste me...am i ok?’ i ask, as i rub my right breast on his chest

i manoeuvre my small hands around his frame stripping of his clothes, there is nothing sexy about my prowess at this point, and i’m okay with that. my skin is yearning his skin without excuse. finally he’s naked, goosebumps rise on my skin as i glance over his perfection. i hold his hands so he can’t touch. me, on top grinding against his growing manhood, thick and juicy, curved yet perfect. me, nibbling, sucking, biting, horny, anticipating his entrance, hot. me, thirsty. ‘baby, can you get some ice please?’ me, watching him walk away, knowing that he’ll be back.

his mouth opens as he tongues the spot right by my collar bone. his lingering sigh tells me i’m ready for his sex. ‘grab the brown towel’ i reach for it and step out the bathtub, my clumsy ass almost falling out, and drying myself off, i walk towards the bedroom. once inside, i reach for my lotion, he eyes me ‘put that down, you’ll be moist in a bit’. with eyes never leaving my body, he anchors his hands around my waist and guides me toward his bed, lit up by one solitary bulb.

two ice cubes clink together in a wine glass, i straddle him once again and slowly finger the ice cube while talking to him with my brown eyes. the moment the ice cube touches his skin is one i replay even now. his face tells me all i need to know. i float the ice cube over his left nipple, and hungrily lick it off knowing he loves that shit. the trail of my kisses follow the cold tease to his right nipple and his fingers seek for relief. i remove his neediness from my pussy as my pink lips nibble, suck and lick their way to his chocolate delight.....

.kisses.

Read more...

my week in texts (and msn)

: the cheesecake's gwainin right now. tell me something sweet you like to eat ;)

: the recession has served notice at my house, bully beef pasta sauce and spaghetti lol....

: she's soft like on another level, and like i said if she saw hood she would grab her stuff and run to the nearest battered woman's shelter and seek mental help.

: hey where are you? when are you coming home? can you please get me some ice cream? <---from my younger sister....she called me 55 times...i have no words.

: good to hear you're better now...i'm good. so what's new?...when we goin link, i miss your company.

: woman's sex prayer ** as i lay him down to fuck, i pray he rips this pussy up, but if his dick is small and weak, lord i pray this man can eat. amen!**

: hahahaha amazingness, i told char i'm getting it tattooed on my back. <-- re: the previous text..i luv this chick!

: you get so wet, she would enjoy eating you. and would you go down on her?

: you were honestly the most arousing lover i ever had. i miss our encounters alot. i still fantasize about you.

: i actually do like you, and would like to have a chance to kick it. it would be inspirational for your art i think...a new perspective. <-- my former ex asking me to visit him in korea.

Read more...

*tearing* thank-you for loving my blog

a few days ago i was given the 'i love your blog' award by cook.the.poet, da_kween, and tha unpretentious narcissist, thank-you very much for loving my blog, it's humbeling and it makes me smile. kisses to all of you! please check them out, they are all insightful, great writers and hilarious!

also vincia @ mochasister has given me her own 'i love your blog' award. a big kiss to you hun! thank-you very much for loving my blog.

so because i don't follow that many blogs yet, i will pass on one and keep the other one for another time.

so to.....  * jaye ,interrupted * 'the good life' by jenelle jenkins * single girl in san diego * sinfullyo * candy janee * pretty pacino * ..... i love your blog!

___________________________

it's funny, i really wasn't expecting the award i created to come back to me, but it did.

thank-you cook.the.poet, and t-charry for peeping through my windows and loving what they see! kisses to the both of you! if you have not creeped them yet,you should do so, they are too very different bloggers who both have something to say.

i'm only going to pass it on to one blog this time though * trey anthony * (for my canadian readers, she's the mastermind behind da' kink in my hair )

8 things a voyeur / peeing tom will catch me doing.

* sleeping : because i am a chronic insomniac, and have been for a good number of years, i molest sleep whenever i can get it
* masturbating while watching girl on girl porn or while reading a few of the naughty blogs i follow: i have no more words...
* watching tv, or movies : i am a confessed tv and movie addict
* talking on the phone : kween says 'you sound like white girl'...and she's not lying. lol
* texting, and sexting : i have many addictions
* webcamming and sexcamming : not so much anymore cause my two regulars were being pussies and i cut them off
* blogging : i love it.

* reading : i'm not the book worm i use to be, but i still try and read a lot.

kisses to all my readers, those who comment and those who just creep from afar.... it continues to baffle me, but i won't question it...lol.

.kisses.

Read more...

today is the day for great sex

a few weeks ago on twitter (truthfully it could have been a few days ago, because twitter time makes real time look weird) the trending topic was #in2010. and as most trending topics go, i was being my smart ass self, (#in2010 i will have more great sex often....i promise), but i had a moment in which it caught me and really made me think.

what if 2010 never comes? what if i am the unlucky bugger to choke on my apple pie and ice cream? (yumm). all my big dreams and aspirations for the stroke of midnight and beyond will never come true. damn it! i want to have great sex more often now!

#in2010 i will say more of what i want to and not care about the response
expectations suck! #in2010 i will live life with no preconcieved notions. whatever happens, be it happiness or pain happens.
.......#in2010 big dicks only!
#in2010 i will still not go to the gym
#in2010 i will have more sex in public places

really?

why wait until i kiss a lover or a random stranger amidst tears, laughter and flowing alcohol to take a new direction in my life. what about today? these few days before new years are just as good as any to live and live life more abundantly. that is something i took from my christian upbringing, to live life to the fullest every day, because you may not be blessed with a tomorrow. yeah some people need the added motivation of something to look forward to, something to push towards, and i get that, and being the natural encourager i am i will be there helping them push, but for me, i need to look forward to today, today i will say more of what i want and not care about the response, today i will live life with no preconceived notions, today i will accept big dicks only. today i will apply my mottos of life, because today is worthy

i am determined that 2010 will not be my starting point, it will be my continuation. anything i want to change, add, delete, or enhance, i will do that today, because living an abundant life is not waiting for the big bang, it’s not waiting for permission to start over, it’s taking each minute as it comes and living the shit out of it.

and that moment, the moment in which my smart ass self settled down and pondered, is exactly the moment i needed. i’ve allowed myself to get so lazy since i lost my job, when i know i have things to accomplish, dreams to live out and places i want to go, and i could wait until the stroke of midnight to start, but today looks too damn good to pass up.

life motto: i have dreams. but my dreams aren't worth shit unless they become my reality. i have fears... damn right i have fears! but my fears propel me to make a fool of my insecurities. life is not life, unless life is lived. fuck my fears, i'm gonna live! dreams, meet my reality

‘......to live the greatest number of good hours is wisdom’ ralph waldo emerson

.kisses.

Read more...

TMI blog award: spreading the love

100th blog post! *yayyyyy*

I’m big on celebrations! I try to celebrate every major and minor occurrence in my life, which is why i had to celebrate my 100th blog post. these past couple of months have been tres interesting and i’ve loved every minute of it. i’ve evolved before my very own eyes and i’m glad i pushed myself to do this.

so, in pondering how i would celebrate this milestone, two weeks ago i decided to show my appreciation to my favourite bloggers (who i visit all the time to get my fix), for allowing me to explore my voyeuristic interests.... expanding the definition from the sexual to include the real, the vulnerable, and the honest.

so to..... * ms.xtacee * ebony panther * pashun * cook * katlynne laSalle * ms.plume * bree * secretia * soul powers * black pearl * the soul of it all * da_kween * camE * lionsvictory * tha unpretentious narcissist * ubong da * lady j * spoken word *......i award you the TMI blog award.

Thank-you all for doing what you do, and for allowing us and especially me a peek into your life and into your mind.

TMI blog award rules

*post the award on your blog

*list 8 things a voyeur / peeping tom could potentially catch you doing if   

  they were watching you

*award up to 8 bloggers who match the criteria this award

*make sure they know you enjoy peeping through their windows

.kisses.

Read more...

my week in texts

: you like the control, i like being the victim.

: what is it that i do? you said you wanna creep, u wanna just show up, these are your rules...now tell me what i do wrong, so i can do it right.

: mel just got let go cause she's a whore....i mean that in the literal sense....ya! at the christmas party she got tanked, and some dude from the 8th floor had his hand up her dress, only for the entire christmas party to see.. ya, she's engaged and buddy is married! lmao

: someone showed me i joke around with you too much, that's why you're always rampin with me...for real that's what we're doing. i'm not giving you the chance to flop by asking you, so wednesdays we're chilling sexy.

:.... one of my people who said they hope you and me patch everything up, cause we look good together, and some other shit, it was a G not one of the mans...

: lol, she's just dying to get married and have her own family, she said her rope is dwindlin lol, who says that shit? 'dwindlin'...lol that was the best.

: i'm hungry and half asleep but excited, looking forward to see ya.

.kisses.

Read more...

sex tips#1: men take one for the team and have some sex!

A big kiss to all who voted on the poll, it was interesting to see your thoughts on this subject. I will keep the results up a bit longer. MUAH

for majority of us with vaginas, when it comes to aunt flo we feel we have an excuse to whine, bitch and complain about everything named life. for a smaller number of us, when it comes to aunt flo our lustful nature increases and horniness takes over. i’m talking jump on a random joe and traumatize his johnson horniness. now what this jekell and hyde act does to the men in our life makes me sometimes wonder why they stick around the other 3 weeks of the month.

yet in spite of that, only 7 out of the 15 people who took the poll have had sexual intercourse during what my mom calls the ‘menses’, and only 2 of them have claimed to ‘love that shit!’. i however am not one of the two, i am one of those women whose horny level doesn’t jump that far up during my period, because truthfully I’m horny all the time. as for the red sex, it’s not that great to me. i’ll do it, if my man wants to, but I can do without it. (who am i really kidding).

historically, sex during the menstrual cycle has been seen as taboo because we were taught that the blood is dirty, nasty and unclean. last year, I brought up this topic to the horror of my mother and her response was ‘eww nasty’. like many things, society, tradition and gross misconceptions have told us what we can and cannot do. sex during aunt flo’s intrusion is not only normal and a part of a healthy sex life but if done safely, carries benefits.

men, if your woman complains of cramps, forgo the massage and have some sex.

sex during her period can actually cure the dreaded cramps. cramps are caused by prostaglandins in the uterine lining, which produce the contractions that move the menstrual blood out of the uterus, so when she hits her orgasm, and starts speaking in tongues the excess prostaglandins get used up due to the natural contractions an orgasm brings, which can also aid in kicking aunt flo out of the house sooner. and who doesn’t want her red ass gone? lets do the math... sex + orgasm = less bitching, whining and complaining.

for those of my freakier people, don’t let the red sauce deter you from pleasuring or getting pleasured the old fashioned way. there are products such as dentals dams (which also come flavored) and the good old condom to aid in oral sex. (i can just imagine the faces getting screwed up right now) LOL. i actually had an ex tell me he wanted to ‘chew on my bloodclot’...no comment!

in any case, sex during the ‘menses’ needs to be done safely, always wrap it up! it is blood and it will carry std’s, don’t let no one use that ‘you don’t trust me’ shit, you can’t see trust when you're itching your crotches like a fool. also although high unlikely, it is possible to get pregnant, so once again wrap it up!

so freaky fellas and lustful ladies, lay down some towels, turn down the light if your feeling squirmish, and make some love. fellas, if she’s sexy to you, she’ll still be sexy, have her on her back, look into her eyes and and tell aunt flo she gotta go! ladies, why work yourself into a frenzy, and punish yourself? go get you some!

.kisses.

Read more...

the p*ssy beggar: laycocking at it's finest.

i was asked to do a guest blogger post for candydiaries.com , please check it out and leave your kisses at her door. let me know if you have ever been in that situation, and if you can relate. here is a snippet of what i had to say...

Laycock: v. the act of begging for sex. “So when you gonna cum lay with me?”

Being a strong minded woman, who knows what she wants, especially when it comes to sex, I’m all for men being dominant and assertive. The kind of man who has no qualms about telling me exactly what he wants, and that his want is me, not in the dutty, feel up my ass and attempt to brush up against my boobs way, but the eyes locking, hair tingling, “I want to make you feel good”, smooth bedroom voice way.
But there seems to be a new breed of man, infiltrating the scene, the type of man we may all be able to relate to, the pussy beggar.... continue reading here
 
.kisses.

Read more...

my week in texts

: ya, she cute. you got eyes like a man lol.. men call it the 'eye of the tiger', when you can spot a cute girl.

: bout the same, still fleeting for a brief moment, but i'm kinda looking for the high... Mmmm kinda like sex where after you cum you still feel the buzz, now as soon as i bust that's it.

: well we shall see how mannnnyyyyy men you bring back.

: what were we warring about again? i thought you said you're a lover not a fighter....text me when your not driving it's dangerous.

: the bloody thing is so addictive. i have no social life cause i'm more concerned about harvesting my crops. LoL. i want to beat gobi so badly!!!

: you really know how to push my buttons eh? you really do!

: not gonna shower, i miss the smell.

: well we don't gotta get drunk, i will cut you off if you know you're past your limit. we can enjoy a few...i don't mess with drunk chicks unless i know they know what they're doing.

: means stay where you are. i'm not proving anything to you.

: just here honestly been waiting to see what's up with you, like i can't hear from you.

: you know i read what you said, and i still can't believe you said that.

: omg, we could go to times square and watch the ball drop!

Read more...

nablopomo: music, life and blogging

i'm done!
like seriously i'm really done!
this november blogging challenge is over, and i've made it....tired and with hurting brain cells, but i made it nonetheless. a big kiss to kween, who accepted the challenge, and to butterfly effect who also accepted but was unable to finish for extraneous reasons. both of these women i have come to respect and admire, and i'm glad we did this together.

throughout this month, i let you in on what songs impacted my life and why. music is a huge part of my being, and i hope you learned somethings about me. thank you for reading, taking part in my memories and leaving me your kisses.

soo, to celebrate this milestone i will divulge more info about me...lol.
thank you to butterfly effect for sending me these 10 questions as the challenge winner for guessing the meaning of "hollywood draggin" correctly (which was smoking. i was a benson and hedges super slims smoker for a month of my precious life).

1. Do you believe in God?
i do. both of my parents are pastors and i was brought up in the church, and was very active in ministry ready to be a fulltime minister. i'm now considered a backslider however, i've stopped living in the way i was brought up to the pain of my parents.

2. What is your happiest memory as a child?
 i must say it was being a daddy's girl. my father and i have had a strained relationship since i was 13. but before that i was soo in love with my daddy, and i miss that.

3. How do you feel about President Obama now that he's been in office for a while?
i must admit i'm not one to follow politics, and when i do i follow what's going on at home.

4. If you could go back in time and change anything, what would it be?
i would change soo many things, one being dropping out of university. i didn't get to go to the school i wanted, hence i had to change my major. i couldn't take it anymore, and the financial strain on my parents was a lot so i dropped out.

5. What is your dream job?
if i could sleep and get paid, that would be it! for real though to write for a living, or to share my poetry for a livng would be absolutely perfect!

6. What would be your dream vacation?
i have always dreamed about going to visit all the concentration camps, even before going away to the usual hot countries, or to the mother land, i guess it's the jewish in me.

7. What is your favorite color?
hot pink, black, and poetry.

8. Why do you choose to be anonymous?
no stealth reason, but i find that when people know who you are they can get too comfortable and too familiar with you, which is not always a bad thing, but it's not something i want right now.

9. Are you in debt? If so, how much?
the only debt i have is my unpaid balance on my credit card. $245.00. i've seen my parents live and struggle with debt and i've promised myself that, that will never be me.

10. What is your favorite meal?
i'm such a typical jamaican...LOL. my fav meal is bully beef (corned beef cooked down) and white rice.

.kisses.

Read more...

my week in texts

: webcamming? what the heck is that... what happened to me and you? yeah eh? ...... and you hurt your leg, must have been real in it... in a wierd position huh.....ha, ur a real freak huh... so when am i gonna get a sample?

: hey sexy. how you doin? miss me?

: then i asked you "would you like to be friends?" your reply was "no".

: while the cats away, the mice will play :)

: that's intense, are you aware of all the repercussions that come along with being 'the other woman?'

: after your class @ my place.

: i stopped takin in ur blog for like a week, and took it in yesterday.. one of your weekly texts was somthin about you fuckin poetry guy, soo that made me think.

: i probably still want you when i'm old and on viagara...

: so cum sleep here with me.

: i'm sayin if you feel alone maybe if you sleep beside someone, or someone holds you, you can get comfortable.

: so what do you plan on rubbin and suckin when i'm done?

: yet it feels like you push me away, even though i care for you and try to be there...but i get cast to the side and you go and talk to guys that keep you as a flex and then ask questions like you don't understand men, and men are dumb....you talkin and dealin with losers when a good guy's in front of your face...

: lay down with me.

: i want you for breakfast

.kisses.

Read more...

nablopomo: in the words of weezy f. baby

...'i'm an alien'
laymans terms, i'm an artist.
i'm a writer.
i've known i was different since i was a little girl, rocking bubbles and clips. my mind has always operated on a different level than those around me. not saying better, just different, the way i would use and view words, the visuals that words would bring to me, and the way i felt when absent from my one true love. people told me i wasn't normal.

as i got older, and up until recently it hit me, and i understood. people who are in love with their art, who live breathe, and die entangled in their art function in a seperate reality. they don't live like everyone else does, often called 'crazy', some become hermits, some take drugs to numb the pain of their brilliance, some go as far as to take their own life. masterpieces aren't created while 'sittin up in their room', masterpieces are created through glazed eyes, staring blankly out of a window, counting the black stars in their white sky. pictures are painted staring past what the eyes see and dredging up the soul. music is created from places some people may never reach. artists live inside their head, they function off of what makes sense to them, and honestly this reality sucks! when i am expierencing a writer's block i am unable to function, i can't breathe this air, it smells stale to me, i yearn to be in my seperate reality. that's where i feel at home, that's where my world is MY world, and that's where everything makes sense. give me a white sky with black lines woven in between the clouds, give me a hot pink pen and set me free.

i'm not saying i'm brilliant, but i can relate to the love of none other but my art, i'm also saying.....set me free. sometimes i wish this reality would just let go of me. i've been seduced by the death of life...the art of words, and i don't want to come back.

Read more...

monsters and pussy juice

held captive by a sleep discursive i sigh heavily.
laboured breathing accompanies my audible disturbance as the mink covering my nude body save for a pair of white leopard print panties is slowly pulled away from me, offering my body a rememberance of warmth while allowing the chilly air to begin licking.
it licks first my breasts as my nipples stand up, looking around for the intruder. they ache as if warning me of the impending violation and are quicky silenced, hushed by the flick of your tongue.

i run away from monsters and dragons while you drag your fingertips through my curls, black as night and red as fire...fire... you glance down at the fire hiding in my pussy... and... you...
kiss... my eyelids.
kiss...my cheeks.
nibble on my ear lobes, perfect in the soft moon light.
caress my neck as you tenderly chew on my vein searching for red.
i gasp, as the monster bites me, you look up not alarmed, but aroused, for you have studied my sleep patterns, and i am yours tonight.

you pour wax from the vanilla scented candle onto my skin, a trick i taught you once before. your fingers knead my body as your fingers need my body but you refuse to submit to your dragon as he roars hidden beneath linen and will. intent on journeying to my valley, you slide your tongue down my left leg, circling the scar oddly beautiful now. so careful to leave your mark on each of my toes, one by one you feed your stomach chocolate syrup while whispering tall tales to my feet. the sounds of your stomach growling threaten to ruin the mood, but you continue, and make your way up my right leg. my body begins to tense, and the closer you get to your prize is the sweeter the smell. inhaling you refuse to exhale, letting the smell transfer into a taste in your mouth, and for a minute you keep it there.

lightheaded and focused, licking your lips you dive in.

in a flurry of  teeth, tongue, fingers, clit, and lips you meander through my pussy, exploring the beautiful sight and colours of such a magnificent creation. as if in a trance your finger covered in wet writes me a promise and a curse on the inside of my being, and as my river begins to flow you quickly grab your cup........

standing back, satisfied for the moment you fondly look down at my body still unaware of the violation, a smile forms on your face, and stomach grumbling you put the cup to your lips.....

.kisses.

Read more...

nablopomo: life on the low: creepin' with hip hop

i can't believe this blogging challenge is almost done. am i sad, not at all, it was a great experience but lawd, it's harder than i thought it would be.....sigh. shout out to my girl kween and butterfly effect for taking on the challenge also.

in a previous post i shared that i am a habitual cheater, not always physical but mostly emotional, well you can read all about it here.

as much as it sucks, it's a honest part of life, sometimes too honest. a fellow blogger ms.downlow has not only invited us into her world, and her coming to terms with her infidelity riddled marriage, she has published a book about it. and since i've been there, i'm always interested in hearing and reading other people's experiences with it. now you guys should know by now how much i luv hip hop and she has admitted to letting hip hop seduce her, or did she seduce him?

i'm soo excited to get my copy, i've read good reviews about it (read one here), and once i do read it, believe that i will share my thoughts on it.
if you want to get your own copy, visit her blog here as she has a $3.00 discount available for a short period of time.

.kisses.

many of you may be shaking your head, but don't act like you didn't bump to this song at one point in time. shoot i know this song has inspired some fantasies and acts of a creeping nature...lol

p.s. if i went to bed in those big ass silk pajama's my man will kick my ass out the bed.

TLC - Creep (Official Music Video) - The best free videos are right here

Read more...

nablopomo: my drink and my stripper pole

i am not a club person. truth be told i have never been to a club, it's never been my scene. i don't even have ambitions to go to a house party. i think that's why people think i'm very stuck up, and 'artsy fartsy', i'd rather go to a lounge, poetry slam, jazz festival than drag my ass to a club anyday....and from the pictures i see, and the stories i hear, i must say i'm not too impressed.

dutty ass girls dutty whining on a dutty floor littered with empty bottles. guys who don't know the meaning of the word 'no'. chicks who insist on assaulting the world with their mirrorless fashions. dj's interrupting every friggin song with 'all the sexy ladies..blah blah blah'. chicks who insist they are not there to get chopped but to chill with their girls. bullshit. hot breaths. danced off deoderants. corn worthy shoes (which their ass can't walk in). bathrooms that smell like home on the range. and expensive flavored juice costing me $10. wtf?!

and no matter how 'classy' the club is that you go to, there are always fall downs who ruin the night for you.
but as i get older i find myself wanting to take my stripper dancing ass to a club, of course it has to be high end club though, none of this ghetto ass bullshit. i think i would be an amazing clubber, and i must be honest after seeing this video i think to myself "if i could find a club atmosphere like the concert in this vid, i would be so there" soo if i do go to a club, i will share my failures and successes with you guys.

so, check out the vid and also this email i rummaged up from a disgruntled club goer.

.kisses.

********

Reasons Why Clubs Are Just Absolutely Horrible.

Reason 1: The Line Up.
The line is filled with girls glittered up and guys wearing leather jackets. Why does every guy look exactly the same? Thankfully, I am set apart with my doughy face and detailed eyebrows. The Line Up is key because nobody believes they belong in it. If you wait in line, you’re not cool. To who? I’m not sure. Probably to the other people who are waiting in line who you think are not cool. We must impress them. So then we begin to suddenly know somebody who can get us in. Chatter, as follows: “Ask the bouncer if Mikey’s working, he’ll get us in.” “Tell them you’re with Sarah +10” “This is Joey’s place man, he’s the head promoter, he’ll get us in.”


Truth is, Mikey was fired, Sarah’s passed out on a toilet at home, and there is no Joey. You just made that up.
Wait in line.


Reason 2: The Girls Who Never Have To Wait In Line.
There’s this faction of women in this world that anchor their pride in this one fundamental belief:
I never wait in line at clubs.
When you meet them, they will immediately inform you of this fact. Wait in line? Me? Fuck that. Do you know who I am? The answer to that question is really just their name. Look. They even do it at job interviews:

"Well, Sarah, thank you for applying to become the Chief Budget Analyst at Royal Bank, let’s get started, shall we?"

"Okay, fun!"

"Let’s start with what you think your key strengths are, Sarah."

"Okay, you know at Lot? I know the owner so me and my girls literally walk in. Mink? I dated the head bouncer, so they don’t even check. I can totally get you in, just text me and I’ll text him, kay? Circa is nothing, they know us. We’re in like thirteen of their promo pictures on their website. They kind of owe me but my friend Tony, he told—"

"I think I lost you. You applied to be the Chief Budget Analyst right?"

"You know what I’m craving right now? Like one of those fun peach bellinis! Wanna go for one?"

"It’s 820am, Sarah."

The new Chief Budget Analyst at Royal Bank.

Reason 3: You’re Really Not That Hot.

At clubs, many young ladies believe they magically turn into Victoria Secret models. This is due to young men who magically develop cataracts. I blame the entire system. Guys walk into a club with one core mission: make out with anything that has an attached uterus. This makes it easy for women who wouldn’t normally get attention at say, 10 am waiting for a streetcar on King street to transform into Jessica Alba at 230am when everyone’s heavily intoxicated. And it’s not like the women are walking away winners here. The guys they’re making out with? Train wrecks. If you don’t believe me ladies, take a look at your friends list right now and tell me how many of your male friends with a name that doesn’t rhyme with Leepak Bethi you would actually make out with sober.
Exactly.


Reason 4: Can’t We All Just Pee?
Going to the bathroom is an event at a club. Hundreds of people seem to need to pee at the exact same time I want to. Also, I am privy to the most inane conversation in the history of the universe.
“Dude, Sarah actually looks hot tonight. Did you see that ass? Mikey, you should deal that.”
“Dude I’ve dealt it like nine times already.”
“Fuck you, no way. When? You lie.”
“No man seriously. It’s true. She totally wants me.”
Then several young men deconstruct Mikey’s claim as to how he ‘dealt Sarah’ until Mikey finally exhausts all of his weak supporting arguments and runs away from the bathroom crying, flailing his arms wildly in the air. Then, while washing my hands, I get to see several young men try to fix their eleven hairs on their head, each spiked up individually. When they have completed, they look exactly the same.
Gel doesn’t fix ugly.


Reason 5: You’re just too old.
If you’re thirty-five and you go to clubs every night, I think that’s cool. Nothing is more appealing than someone who knows what’s hot on a Tuesday night. And also, we enjoy when you tell us what the club was called in 1989 when you first went. It’s like a fun history lesson!


Reason 6: Eating shit food after the club.
Actually, I have nothing against this. Have you seen me? I weigh a staggering one hundred and seventy-five pounds and at several points in my life, I have teetered on the brink of obesity. This is absolutely tremendous.


Reason 7: People who can actually dance.

<------She probably waited in line.

Many of you know I can’t really dance. You’re nice enough not to tell me. Wait. You know what? No you’re not. Many of you have told me many times, shattering me emotionally. How dare you. But it’s true. Much like my poor swimming ability, I can’t really dance. I bop my head up and down to the beat of Biggie sometimes and throw one or perhaps both of my hands up in the air, creating the fascinating facade of me actually dancing. But this is all an illusion. It kind of works until some dude named Hugo comes along and salsas it up with everyone while I unravel on the inside. Who names a kid Hugo anyway? Ass.

PS. There’s no way in hell Mikey dealt Sarah.

********

cassidy ft swizz beatz - My Drink N My 2 Step [new]

by Lvick

Read more...

nablopomo: meet crazy as named gritty.

i make it a point not to deal with, date, breathe the same air as crazy....now.... but i had to learn my lesson first.
and his name was gritty.

i first saw gritty when i was 16. we were at a park concert and he was with his wife and son, he must have been 23. i was instantly attracted to the passion that he had for God and for life, it was so beautiful and that made him beautiful to me. a year later we met at a tim's and we struck up a convo and it was there he fell in love with me. now divorced, i let him know that i had a boyfriend so nothing could gwan. he never hid the fact that he loved me though, telling me always his plans of marrying me.

we became very good friends fast, and our friendship was unhealthy, but we were attached to each other and both blinded to see the extent of the damage that was being done. we were friends for about 6 years, when one day i saw his piercing green eyes, and i realized that i loved him, not only as a friend, but as more than that. i wanted to be with him, and take care of him until his disease killed him. i say take care of him because he was diabetic and very sick, unable to hold a job, constantly in the hospital and shit. i broke up with my boyfriend smooth and told him i was in love with my friend, and against my mom's advice (i swear she knew his ass was crazy the whole time), gritty and i became a couple.

him, irish and sri lankan wanna be jamaican, me, jamaican plus, i was in love with this sick bald headed skinny 'white' guy, and this sick bald headed skinny 'white' guy introduced me to crazy....

and his ass was crazy! ouhhh let me count the ways:
*when we made out he would bark at me! yes i said bark!
*he would get on all fours and sniff the crotch of my jeans beggin to taste her.
*when we would hug, he would press his ear to mine and hold it there. he had an ear fetish.
*verbally abusive. i cried like every convo we had.
*he would hide out in his home talking about man's dem wanting to kill him.
*he felt the need to hide from me that he was arrested and went to trial for attempted murder. i found out because i googled his ass.

so that shit lasted about 3 months before i came to my God-given senses and broke up with him.....via text..... i know you're thinking text message was the wrong thing to do, i then follow up with: upon reading my text he began to curse my life, literally cursed the day i was born, so you can imagine what would have happened if i did it in person (he had previously showed me how to kill someone with one swipe of a baseball bat...yup).... ouhhhh i am soo glad i didn't give him the goodies!

there is sooo much more to this relationship, and i will definitely divulge the ugliness in later posts, but here is what i felt the theme song for our break up was, well from his point of view anyways. and yet this is still one of my fav songs....

.kisses.

Read more...

nablopomo: repost: love of my life

                                       

Read more...

confessions of a webcam whore: my klutz ass

so, as i made mention before i love webcamming. sexcamming i call it, is soo much fun, not only do i get to see gorgeous cocks getting stroaked by manly hands, i do enjoy returning the favor. currently my sexcamming partners are bus driver and cleveland indian (who has kinda stepped up his game since our last session), but they are not without their own dramas, which makes me rethink the whole dyamn thing (to be discussed at a later post)

however my klutz ass had to screw something up.
on thursday night i was sexcamming with cleveland indian.... a part of the night follows...

"aim down mama, and n let's get started" 1:04 am
"need more lite" <~~~ there occured my fatal mistake
"perfect...sexy knees" <~~~ really?
"looks delicious, i wanna fuck you rite now"
"i buss" 1:19 am
"i see it...wow" <~~~ cum all over a man's hand is strangely sexy for me
"i still wanna fuck, yea, i'm still horny"
"imma shower brb"

"you good?"
"i burned my leggggg...ahhhhhhh!"
in an effort to be the smart ass that i am, when he asked for more light, i took my shadeless lamp off my side table and attempted to put it between my legs, and in the process it not only touched my leg, but it was there for what seemed like HOURS! i swear i heard seering noises.

"u want me to kiss it better?"
"yeah! it fuckin hurts, all cause u wanted to see the pussy"
"luv the kitty though" <~~~ i don't care, my leg is dying!

now i'm limping like a friggin cripple, my mom says "it looks good" really mom?! it looks like i have flesh eating disease! "you've never had a burn before" no, mom, not like THIS!

having to explain my injury to poetry guy wasn't easy "i was being naughty", was all i could muster while smiling not so innocently.

and when i explained it to bus driver he flipped! because i should have known not be sexcamming with anyone else "puhlease".

so, have i learned my lesson? nah. even though i'm in excruciating pain, i'm not even waiting until it heals ;)

.kisses.

Read more...

OMG, 65 followers, that's intense! i would like to take this moment and kiss my followers both new and old. thank you for taking time out to read my life and leave your lip stains and kisses.

following is done out of interest (well, i think so anyways), and i'm flattered that you take an interest in me.

a big thank you also goes to the blogs that i follow,(i have developed crushes on some of you ;) thank you for putting up with my comments, i take great interest in what you all do and say, but if i become stalkerish, please let me know!

.kisses.

Read more...

nablopomo: you can't start a fire sittin around crying from a broken heart

my musical upbringing has been completely ecclectic thanks to my father, a country born jamiacan who was never really into reggae, but give him some elvis presley, the boss, conway twitty, al green, the beatles, abba, and he's good. i grew up listening to all of that, and i love all of that.

my musical playlist includes hip hop, r&b, 80's rock, 60's-70's music, reggae, rock and roll, counrty western, contemporary, and jazz ( i love me some jazz). i am grateful for the wide range in my musical fav's, i think it has made me a well rounded person, and even though i get strange looks and snickers when i start singing along to blondie, or bonnie tyler, my world is wider and i'm a better person for it.

here is a song that anywhere it plays i will drop everything i am doing to sing, and dance along. (i remember when i was in the mall with smooth and we were walking like the sexy couple we were, this song came on, and i became karoke queen up in that spot, fake mic and everything...LOL...poor smooth) *feel free to insert snicker here.*

i can relate to the boss (bruce springsteen) when he says..(all from memory)

stay on the streets of this town/ and they be carving you up alright/

they say you gotta stay hungry/ hey baby i'm just about starving tonight/

i'm dying for some action/ i'm sicka sittin here round here trynna write this book/

i need a love reaction/ come on baby gimme just one look/

you can't start a fire/ sittin round crying from a broken heart/

this gun's for hire/ even if we're just dancing in the dark/

you can't start a fire/ worrying about your little world falling apart/

this gun's for hire/ even if we're just dancing in the dark./

i have to stay hungry, the minute i become complacent where i am, life is no longer worth living. i need action, i write better in the midst of chaos, keep the drama to yourself, but nothing plus nothing equals a shit load of nothing!.
i need love.
the life i want will not happen for me if i moan and cry about my past sadness and my broken hearts, i have to let that shit go and press on to my future.
the life i need will not happen for me if i walk the path in fear of failure, so what if i fall, what if i fail, that should give me a reason to keep trying, to keep plugging at it, because one day i will not fail. my failures do not make me a failure, my willingness to give up does.
.
.kisses.

Read more...

my week in texts

: are you up for a lil' private viewing?

: cause your just that beautiful.

: ;Omgsh..WHY did this lady just walk on the bus smelling like pee???? And of course with my luck, she sits right across from me :| and on top of that, i just sent your text to some random stranger by accident LOL! fail...

: because it doesn't give me enough time to get my claws into him on a mid-week date.

: u mean you masturbated right.... u can't wait until friday?

: LOL imma laugh soo hard if by friday nite your writing bout poetry guy fuckin you again, wait here's a heading "poetry guy strikes again"

: wow, if it's good eh? ok, i didn't know you were gauging my performance.

.kisses.

Read more...

nablopomo: the dream kinda failed on this one

The Dream Feat Fabolous - Shawty Is A Ten Remix
by PeteRock

some signs you are not a 10

... if you wear leggings as pants. leggings were not meant to be worn as pants, no one looks cute with camel toe, even in a pair of killer heels. fashion etiquette states that while wearing leggings one's shirt/blouse etc.. must be covering the ass. even if you don't subscribe to fashion etiquette, look in the mirror.

... if you are a dutty chick. we are all asking you to bathe, wash your hair, comb your hair, clean your room, bathroom etc... you can't play clean forever, eventually the dirt will shine through.

... if you are a loud ass brawling chick. there is a difference between being loud and outgoing, having fun with your peeps (like my loud ass), and being the one who feels everyone needs a cussin', or that your phone convo is sooo amazing the whole building needs to hear it. you are not cute.

... if you insist on wearing and carrying the latest name brand everything, but your ass is catching the bus. the money you spend on the brands you can save up and buy a car. this however cannot be said about those who live in big cities which do not require you to drive, hence the second part...

... if you insist on wearing and carrying the latest name brand everything, but your ass is still living at home. the money you spend on the brands you can save up and live on your own, this can be said anywhere.

... if your pussy is a sample. sexually liberated is cute, very sexy, however screwing any guy who breathes your air is not. your pussy is not a sample, it's important to the survival of the human race, treat it as such.

... if you wear heels you are unable to walk in. please stop it. and wear your size. if your pretty little ankles cannot support the shoes, don't wear it, because men and women will laugh at you, some will point. okay okay.... i will point.

... if your weave looks like crap. enough said.

... if you carry around negative energy everywhere you go. please go away. that shit is contagious, and no one wants to be around you and those who do are exactly like you. misery likes company, but very few people like misery, because she's not cute.

... if your so desperate to be liked that you'll kiss everyone's ass and throw honesty to dogs. be yourself, and everyone will see it, and appreciate it. insincereity is obvious and it will throw you under the bus everytime.

.kisses.

Read more...

nablopomo: adina howard knows...

"mmmm mmmm mmmm"

i absent mindedly take a breath to lick the remainder of my juice off the corner of my mouth.
"you so nasty" i remember him growling, as he wiped his pussy juiced fingers on my tongue.
i can sense his eyes closing, as his body relaxes, fingers warm and sticky caress my ass, as my mouth shows him my gratitiude for his dick. his hands wander to my breasts, sensitive nipples cringe from the pain as he pinches....one small hand fondling his balls, as the other one holds on to to his shaft, up and down, up and down, up.... and..... down......

"kiss me"
i gave his head one last nibble, flicking the tip of my tongue down the hole which brings me my milky gift, i arch my back allowing him full view of my ass. raising my head, i kiss him loooonnnnng and hard. sucking on my tongue, he sticks a finger in my ass and proceeds to finger fuck me.

"do you like giving me head?" he asks, as my chest rises and falls matching his stroke in my nether hole.
"yes" i managed to sigh out, my breath tasting like our sex.
eyes closed.
hole violated.
feeling delicious.

my hands smell like cock, and i don't want to wash it off.

.kisses.

Read more...

nablopomo: t.i.'s promise

i have never been the type of chick to be a gold digger. i'm not one to esteem material things above happiness or do they equate in my life. i've been known to leave one man who has 'everything' for a man who has nothing. i don't know, that's just how i've always been, money is not that important to me, never has been, and it never will be.

this song however speaks to the hip hop materialistic chick that could potentially be me. i
imagine having a man, who will give me anything, everything materially i could ever want, i would never be in lack of anything, including late night sex so wet and so tight... but i wonder...would i get that which i desire most?

his heart.
and would i be happy?

.kisses.

Read more...

nablopomo: just lay it on the line!

'you're not my girlfriend'

fuck i know! you really don't need to keep reminding me why you don't open up to me, why you're too busy for me, why you feel like you have to 'watch' what you say around me......... what am i doing that's so offensive that you feel the need to remind me what i am not to you?

i'm not your girlfriend. but you want me to be faithful to you? what does faithful even mean when you're in a non-relationship?

"i don't want you fucking anyone else as long as your fucking me" are you being for real?

you claim you wanna break down my emotional walls. you want me to stick around when your ass goes to the army... stick to what? the non-walls we have?

tell me baby, what are you afraid of? i'm not asking you to knight me girlfriend, i'm asking you to be real with me, be open with me, and if this is a waste of time, tell me cause i'll be 30 in 4 years and my ass can't be stuck in 'we're talking'

"whatever this is, is going to go nowhere" and i meant that. there is only so much a grown ass woman can take. i told you 'i'm here', but now that i think about it, where the fuck is here? almost a year "if that's how you want to look at it, ok?" ... almost a year and i'm standing in the middle of nowhere, half expecting leatherface to show up and chainsaw my ass up..it would serve me right. this is clearly my punishment for liking younger men.

*sigh* i invite you to every event my ass is going, and you make me feel like i'm the hunchback of fuckin notre dame, hiding me, not bringing me anywhere (not counting the baseball game baby) 'i don't want my friends to know what i have'.

honey, it seems like what you want, what you have is a fuck friend.

(written in the heat of female frustration and hornyness, i would have probably written it differently tomorrow)

.kisses.

Read more...