honesty

>> 9.26.2009

honestly, i'm not a very honest person. from my youth i have perfected the art of lying, so much so that it even scares me how good i am at it. lying is my weakness (lying and men, but that's a different story). i have become so aware of my lying skills, that i live each day conciously trying not tell a lie, and that shit is hard. i have never realized how easy it is to let a lie slip out between my lips. i mean hella easy.

in the midst of my commitment to honesty, i have never wanted to be so honest in my life as i do now, it's funny, how we desire the strangest things at the most random times.

i want to be honest, and a big reason for that is i want my writings, my poetry, and my life to be as honest as possible. i am so fed up with feeling like i have to hide my true feelings, my true desires, my true self just because it will make someone feel uncomfortable. that someone mainly being me. i need to be uncomfortable if i am going to grow, if i am going to live anti-stagnant i need to expose my skeltetons, put some flesh on them and let them breathe. because decepetion begets complacency, and i'm standing up shouting 'bun that'.

butterflies don't lie, no matter where they are, and what situations they find themselves in, their true colors always shines through, they always fly, and never hide their wings. i can no longer hide my wings either.

so here is my renewed commitment to honesty. honesty to myself, and to the world.

4 blew.me.a.kiss::::

Eddie September 30, 2009 at 10:11 AM  

I feel you one what you're saying. Its crazy because I'm pretty much the same. lol when you said "honestly, i'm not a very honest person. from my youth i have perfected the art of lying, so much so that it even scares me how good i am at it. " it felt like something i would say. Unfortunately, Im not sure if Im at the stage you're in, where you can make that concious effort to NOT lie. :-| Dont get me wrong, I CAN be honest on occassion...I mean, when it comes to talking about "facts" and whatnot...but as far as actually opening up and letting people know exactly what it is I'm feeling? naaah...

Take care!

la.moi October 2, 2009 at 1:12 AM  

you know what's funny. 'experts' say that people who begin sentences with 'honestly', 'truthfully' etc... are gearing up to lie. but for real man, honesty is something i have to condition myself to be proud about, and to work at.... it's sooo not easy, but neither is covering up a lie with 3 more.

Eddie October 5, 2009 at 2:07 PM  

oooo nah I never heard that! lol you ever get so good at lying that you could pick apart everyone else's lie? to the point that you could even say "no no no..you're doing it all wrong" hahah

la.moi :::the.kisser::: October 9, 2009 at 5:26 PM  

lol... trust me. i can book a lie like that. i could pass a lie detector test without breaking a sweat.

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