why did i see the sunrise? hidden - poem

>> 8.16.2009

it is 7:03 am and i am still awake.... and sick. for those who do not know me, i am a chronic insomniac, been dealing with it for about 10 years now, i thought i had defeated it, and that the madness was over.... but now i know that is what it wanted me to think. and now it is 7:04 am and i am still awake.... and still sick. eric benet serenading me, my snails relaxing, and my mind is running wild and rampant.... and my mind rests on the absence of light.
the darkness doesn't scare me, i know people say that evil hides in the dark, but the dark can also bring a peace, serenity, an escape from the harsh lights and noises of movement. even when sleep doesn't come, darkness settles you down and allows you to think, to recollect the day, all you did wrong and all you did right. in the darkness i think about life, and love, i write a lot in the darkness, and the words calm me down... sometimes i am able to fall asleep after i write, i daydream in the darkness and find my release in the darkness.
don't always run from the darkness, be aware of it, don't be naive to it, and in some cases embrace it.... you will be very surprised to see what comes alive.

i breathe at night.
although the light shines where lilies grow
i stay hidden in the darkness among roses
with diminished beauty, thorns tearing at paled flesh as i run
as far away as possible from the secrets revealed in the light.
hidden i hold my secrets, control my secrets,
emotions held close to the rapid beating of my heart
speaking my truth only to the stars,
i breathe in air breathed only in the dark.
wearing my fear as a protection
from the cold of pain, i strain against the wind pushing me into the
revealing illumination of unblinking eyes,
prying eyes, searching eyes, with pupils as black as night.
far from those eyes, I stay hidden
and hidden I breathe at night.

0 blew.me.a.kiss::::

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