my week in texts

: why are these guys sittin here havin a full out convo about dating, courting, and bein engaged, and how we shud be alone wit girls...lol...sooooo much crap! if i drove i'd dip right away, this convo's wayyyy 2big 4me.

: i'm waitin 2leave from here, but these guys r playin freshy jeopardy. <---freshy is the term for a FOB (fresh of the boat)

: ur food got wahmpd, there were 3plates in the fridge n sum1 boxed urs thinkin it was thiers lol i apologize cuz i think u were lookin 4it. <--- damn right i was looking for it! damn cravin ass people!

: well miss me no more, i'm home. happy new year. <--- poetry guy back from jamdown. i missed him like crazy!

: nothin, just got up, figured i'd c if i cud interest u in sum cereal...yah, cereal n ice cream n the curve above ur ass n uhmmm ur face when we were eatin cereal n uhmmm...lol yah i remember L boogie <--- 'cereal' was how my ex smooth and i talked about sex. L boogie was his hip hop nickname for me.

: glad i can still make u blush, we need 2chill 4real, no later than next week. i don't c y u always take 4evr 2chek me or make me hav 2link u? <--- 'chill' was also how we talked about having sex.

: goodness gracious me woman, you're hhooottt!

bonus convo between bus driver and i

(poetry guy tells me i'm not as innocent as i make myself seem, because i encourage these conversations)

"wanna watch me get head"

"no thanx"

"are you on msn"

"yeah"

"just watch she's good"

"naw....past experiences have been unimpressive"

"does your phone get video"

"yeah...."

"trust you'll enjoy this"

"eh.... if she is like the other girls i've seen, i won't.

 it will be a waste of my time"

he then proceeds to send me video #1

"did you get it"

"yeah i got it...lol"

"you like"

"it was interesting, she was kinda cute, and your

dick looked nice and juicy. i'm glad you enjoyed yourself"

in comes video part two, followed by video #3 and 4

"did my *** enjoy that?"

"it was ok...it was nice to watch"

"i want to have a three sum with you..would you fuck her?"

"idk"

"she more ur type no?"

"lol.....yeah"

"she pretty crazy in bed... she one of my old things....
she married now lol"

"what's her name?"

"a****"

(this convo is soo long, but that was most of what went on....i tried uploading one of the videos, and it didn't work.)

.kisses.

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my week in texts

: what's goin on sexy? what you up to?.....you should cum drift off with me

: where did your boytoy go on vaycay? .... and your missin him like that? like you're in luv? <--- 3in dicks shouldn't question how i feel about anyone.

: ur such a tease

: you noticed that i haven't called you yet...to be honest, i'm building up some more courage...lol!

: ***** i want u to never forget that ur a plus and never a minus in my life.

: your blog is serious...u capture texts from the week and post up wow

: wow! i all caught  one or two of my texts on dat...now i gotta watch what i say/do with you. damn ma, what's up with that yo... <--- Red saw that i posted his texts

: i hear you, but why yo is it necessary?...honestly though you should be making money off that blog...we need to talk.

: lmfao @fool who is you... did you write who they were from? omg you're so dry to him! have you guys done anything? <--- re: the previous text situation

: oh yeah, i forgot you said you didn't sleep last night. "2:15, still awake staring at my eyelids"..lol you're friggin stuuuuupid lol

: you should have called me, i would have picked you up and brought you to my house, we could have found something to do

: and barf i got my period today ew

: 4 real happy new years, luv u 4real. next year we should really try and be 2gether

: aawww happy new year la smooch! love u back! <--- i love this woman for real!

: was tryin to have fun with you sexy

: omgsh.. we need that music that they play at award shows when the people start talking too long...

: i will never be too busy that i can't talk to you... i don't think you realize how special you are...nothing will change

** note: the texts i post are ones that i have recieved over the previous week**

.kisses.

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my week in texts

: he broke her neck, he back flipped on her f'n face like who does that?...and the dj said 'she ras dead drown, dat look serious'. wow never ever before.

: wowww!!! i just took in your text about good sex. lol, you and your twitterholics don't have any sense.

: yeah, she's still a virgin, and i know when she bruk out, she's gonna be out there.

: do i get to unwrap you?.......ok, just lemme know when you figure out that tree is fake and you want real pine. <--- really? 3in dicks shouldn't talk about real pine

: turn on your webcam, let's play.

: i will eat it off your chest..... i do wanna play again though.

: ya, he's the type to lock something down quickly. i'm not up for that right now. i'm commitmentphobic lol.

: um ye, but i'm disgusted with him, i think back to his antics and i want to vomit.

: hail no! you will not catch me dead amid the stupid ass people that think they're getting such a good deal. damn fools.

BONUS text convo between myself and bus driver

dec 25 1:35am - 2:29am

" i guess you found a new dick to please you"

"ummm, who is this?"

"wow and you erased my number too, nice"

k***? why the randomness? it's 1:39 in the morning..."

"thoughts of your sweet pussy woke me"

"lol... you haven't had my sweet pussy for a couple of years"

"but i've seen her drip"

"true.... you have. but you have other pussies to drip for you"

"just like you and your other dicks"

"i only have one dick"

"let's be real, you don't want to date me, but need a man to fuck you good when you need it. i'm that guy. these guys you keep fucking do nothing for you"

"k*** you just hate knowing someone else is fucking me.

you only want my pussy cause someone else has it"

"no, i wanted it before"

"sigh... you're right. i don't understand why though...

you have pussy all around you"

"it's your's i want. to me, it could be the best i ever had"

" lol.... i highly doubt it. i know what's going to happen,

if you get it, you're gonna bounce (again)

"stop with that me bouncing stuff. i wanna beat it now and for a very long time after"

"lol"

"so...?"

"sooo, what do you want me to say k***?"

"do you wanna see me unwrap my dick?"

"on webcam?" <--- i'm hoping this was drunk texting

and he fell asleep.

.kisses.

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my week in texts (and msn)

: the cheesecake's gwainin right now. tell me something sweet you like to eat ;)

: the recession has served notice at my house, bully beef pasta sauce and spaghetti lol....

: she's soft like on another level, and like i said if she saw hood she would grab her stuff and run to the nearest battered woman's shelter and seek mental help.

: hey where are you? when are you coming home? can you please get me some ice cream? <---from my younger sister....she called me 55 times...i have no words.

: good to hear you're better now...i'm good. so what's new?...when we goin link, i miss your company.

: woman's sex prayer ** as i lay him down to fuck, i pray he rips this pussy up, but if his dick is small and weak, lord i pray this man can eat. amen!**

: hahahaha amazingness, i told char i'm getting it tattooed on my back. <-- re: the previous text..i luv this chick!

: you get so wet, she would enjoy eating you. and would you go down on her?

: you were honestly the most arousing lover i ever had. i miss our encounters alot. i still fantasize about you.

: i actually do like you, and would like to have a chance to kick it. it would be inspirational for your art i think...a new perspective. <-- my former ex asking me to visit him in korea.

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my week in texts

: ya, she cute. you got eyes like a man lol.. men call it the 'eye of the tiger', when you can spot a cute girl.

: bout the same, still fleeting for a brief moment, but i'm kinda looking for the high... Mmmm kinda like sex where after you cum you still feel the buzz, now as soon as i bust that's it.

: well we shall see how mannnnyyyyy men you bring back.

: what were we warring about again? i thought you said you're a lover not a fighter....text me when your not driving it's dangerous.

: the bloody thing is so addictive. i have no social life cause i'm more concerned about harvesting my crops. LoL. i want to beat gobi so badly!!!

: you really know how to push my buttons eh? you really do!

: not gonna shower, i miss the smell.

: well we don't gotta get drunk, i will cut you off if you know you're past your limit. we can enjoy a few...i don't mess with drunk chicks unless i know they know what they're doing.

: means stay where you are. i'm not proving anything to you.

: just here honestly been waiting to see what's up with you, like i can't hear from you.

: you know i read what you said, and i still can't believe you said that.

: omg, we could go to times square and watch the ball drop!

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nablopomo: music, life and blogging

i'm done!
like seriously i'm really done!
this november blogging challenge is over, and i've made it....tired and with hurting brain cells, but i made it nonetheless. a big kiss to kween, who accepted the challenge, and to butterfly effect who also accepted but was unable to finish for extraneous reasons. both of these women i have come to respect and admire, and i'm glad we did this together.

throughout this month, i let you in on what songs impacted my life and why. music is a huge part of my being, and i hope you learned somethings about me. thank you for reading, taking part in my memories and leaving me your kisses.

soo, to celebrate this milestone i will divulge more info about me...lol.
thank you to butterfly effect for sending me these 10 questions as the challenge winner for guessing the meaning of "hollywood draggin" correctly (which was smoking. i was a benson and hedges super slims smoker for a month of my precious life).

1. Do you believe in God?
i do. both of my parents are pastors and i was brought up in the church, and was very active in ministry ready to be a fulltime minister. i'm now considered a backslider however, i've stopped living in the way i was brought up to the pain of my parents.

2. What is your happiest memory as a child?
 i must say it was being a daddy's girl. my father and i have had a strained relationship since i was 13. but before that i was soo in love with my daddy, and i miss that.

3. How do you feel about President Obama now that he's been in office for a while?
i must admit i'm not one to follow politics, and when i do i follow what's going on at home.

4. If you could go back in time and change anything, what would it be?
i would change soo many things, one being dropping out of university. i didn't get to go to the school i wanted, hence i had to change my major. i couldn't take it anymore, and the financial strain on my parents was a lot so i dropped out.

5. What is your dream job?
if i could sleep and get paid, that would be it! for real though to write for a living, or to share my poetry for a livng would be absolutely perfect!

6. What would be your dream vacation?
i have always dreamed about going to visit all the concentration camps, even before going away to the usual hot countries, or to the mother land, i guess it's the jewish in me.

7. What is your favorite color?
hot pink, black, and poetry.

8. Why do you choose to be anonymous?
no stealth reason, but i find that when people know who you are they can get too comfortable and too familiar with you, which is not always a bad thing, but it's not something i want right now.

9. Are you in debt? If so, how much?
the only debt i have is my unpaid balance on my credit card. $245.00. i've seen my parents live and struggle with debt and i've promised myself that, that will never be me.

10. What is your favorite meal?
i'm such a typical jamaican...LOL. my fav meal is bully beef (corned beef cooked down) and white rice.

.kisses.

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my week in texts

: webcamming? what the heck is that... what happened to me and you? yeah eh? ...... and you hurt your leg, must have been real in it... in a wierd position huh.....ha, ur a real freak huh... so when am i gonna get a sample?

: hey sexy. how you doin? miss me?

: then i asked you "would you like to be friends?" your reply was "no".

: while the cats away, the mice will play :)

: that's intense, are you aware of all the repercussions that come along with being 'the other woman?'

: after your class @ my place.

: i stopped takin in ur blog for like a week, and took it in yesterday.. one of your weekly texts was somthin about you fuckin poetry guy, soo that made me think.

: i probably still want you when i'm old and on viagara...

: so cum sleep here with me.

: i'm sayin if you feel alone maybe if you sleep beside someone, or someone holds you, you can get comfortable.

: so what do you plan on rubbin and suckin when i'm done?

: yet it feels like you push me away, even though i care for you and try to be there...but i get cast to the side and you go and talk to guys that keep you as a flex and then ask questions like you don't understand men, and men are dumb....you talkin and dealin with losers when a good guy's in front of your face...

: lay down with me.

: i want you for breakfast

.kisses.

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my week in texts

: are you up for a lil' private viewing?

: cause your just that beautiful.

: ;Omgsh..WHY did this lady just walk on the bus smelling like pee???? And of course with my luck, she sits right across from me :| and on top of that, i just sent your text to some random stranger by accident LOL! fail...

: because it doesn't give me enough time to get my claws into him on a mid-week date.

: u mean you masturbated right.... u can't wait until friday?

: LOL imma laugh soo hard if by friday nite your writing bout poetry guy fuckin you again, wait here's a heading "poetry guy strikes again"

: wow, if it's good eh? ok, i didn't know you were gauging my performance.

.kisses.

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my week in texts

: india arie and muzik soul child- “chocolate high” that’s the trak, that’s our trak, period that’s my word.

: i can’t shake you, still want you in more ways than 1 “addicted to your chocolate high” it’s that simple, speakin for myself though, can’t speak for you.

: i was wonderin when i was gonna get some blog time lol, thanks it was kool, i liked it. Keep blogin, still love you.

: yo, you commin over?

: the greek god is good. I’m so into him that it’s sad, i have a dinner date with him this week....but i’d rather just eat him. Lol.

: i did a taste test with my hand.

: here you go putting pictures in my head again.

: took in your blog, birthday sex was tuff.....kool, nosy cause it caught me, inspiration for birthday sex came from where for you? Again let me add written very well lol.... for real was that yesterday?

: “gasp” how provocative, but can you blame him when all you tweet about is sex related? Lol.

: hahaha awe, at least your pipes aren’t rusty.

: i feel like kicking it, but i’m supposed to go to this Gucci social party.

: i told you, you were the only one i wanna be with, and just be with you and focus on you, and all now i’m still waitin on an answer, so it’s clear you don’t want me.

: nope far from it, like i said just changing the strategy, not gonna run in the dark when i got a flashlight in my pocket.

: i would never use sex to win a woman’s heart, i’m good not that amazing, lol, but it’s not all about sex for me.

: do you wanna see me jerk off?

.kisses.

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my week in texts

: would you be down to touch yourself on the cam for me?

: funny thing is, there's things that pop in my mind to say to you, but i don't wanna be a apart of the men that seem to be currently pursuing you, lol, i'm serious.

: your so horney that i can hear it in your voice, i don't see see why you just don't cum check for me and done, unless you have another reason why that's a bad idea.

: the heart beat is the sound of life, it's joy, hope, fear, disappointment, pain, happiness and the power to dream, all the emotions that make us all....

: it was really to bring you to see how things run (the studio)... it may spark your juices, if it won't i will.

: your famous in my eyes ;)

: that's kool, i'm real proud of you 4 real, keep up the good work, keep bloggin. i meant everything i said in a im not your dad kinda way. 4 real keep it up!!

: there's this woman that sits next to me, i literally want to stab her with a rusty knife....omfg she fills the entire office with her negative stank ass energy and bad vibe ugh.

: crazy old lonely cat lady...she's always gwanin bout her 2 pussy cats... like STFU

: not playin with you, i'm being serious, i miss you being stupid wet for no reason...for real i miss the way your face looks when you sit on my dick for the 1st time, that shits sexy.

: nothing as long as it involves your presence, honestly just even kick it... i miss seeing your thick lips and cherry cheeks, been too long.

.kisses.

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confessions of a webcam whore: that's not what i want

i've become obsessed with my webcam. i'm not new to it by any means, a freak like me utilizies the tools, but now it's turned into a monster...per say.

i decided to be more aggressive with what i wanted and what i wanted to see, and i wanted this experience to be different than the one i had with the bus driver, who by the way freaked out that i had posted our little tryst. we had some words and i said good bye, deleted him from my contacts and my phone. he still tries to get me back on, and get me off. i tell him to go call his girlfriend...lol.

anyways, where was i? oh yes, here's a snippet of what transpired.

"i hear you mama, so wat chu doin now, should i go to wal-mart get a cam
and we play show and tell?"
"no, you can get a webcam so i can see u jack off"

this must have made his day, because he has been trying to get me in his bed for a few years . i've never been interested in sleeping with him, so what possessed me to use him like this i don't know. and frankly i don't really care.

"y don't u jus cum watch in person n i watch u?"

see what i mean? lol.

"i wanna see you jack off on webcam. i wanna be a silent voyeur"
"oh yeah wat will dat do 4 u?"
"it will turn me on"
"am i gonna watch u 2?"
"nope.... that's the beauty of it"
"so what am i gonna get? i need sumthin 2 get all turned on n in da mood"
"what do you normally use?"
"a female, sum kinda stimulant c sum pumpum imma go get da cam, sho me ur pumpum on urs n that should work"

it baffeled me that someone averagely creative (he's trying to be a rapper), can't use his imagination to jerk off. i was becoming unimpressed quite quickly.

"lol.... no. that's not what i want"

i wasn't really laughing, i was more annoyed with his fingers sending messages to my phone.

"i am tryin 2 make it work in ur favour u gotta help me"
"i know what works in my favour..... i want to watch you..... not the other way around"

why am i continuing to explain myself? i'm using you for my own sexual pleasure, don't ask me any questions, just do what i asked for...shit man.

"i'm not sayin watch u, i need u 2 send sumthin or sho sumthin i can go off of"
"sigh"

sighing because, what the hell? you've jacked off before, just do it already. i've dried up and i don't even want to see ur umnimpressive dick anymore.

all of that for some hood, and to tell you the truth when he did jack off for me (after showing him some titi to shut up his whining) it was soo boring i found myself switching back and forth from different windows. cleveland indian, you had your chance and you failed miserably.

on second thought maybe i was too harsh on him, too cold too calculating. maybe i should be more nuturing, and not see him as a sexual object. but for someone who claims to 'know' how to please a woman, i wasn't too pleased.

.kisses.

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my week in texts

: baby, i told you, do me, lemme make some sense of you.

: words fill my mouth..becoming real to me, video is deep, like it just your voice, good for you!

:... you know what, if i did get you at that time, you would have been my first love.

: please tell me why i'm watching some judge show, and there's black people there suing their bredren for a stolen ipod, and they're all hefty.

: Wow, they're talking about stealing foodstamps from each other LOL!!!! this has gotta be the best judge show ever wow!! Lol

: how come you don't sex me sorry i mean text.

: oh woman

: you were on my mind for a minute so im sayin wassup, don't want anything tho, jus sayin hi lol that was soooo gay, later.

: Wow, so i guess you erased my number? don't know why tho. and yea it's me.

.kisses.

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lipstick and lube: the other woman

let me ask you a question. do i have 'the other woman' written on my forehead in lipstick and lube?

'so you want me to be your mistress?'

i met this guy, we'll call him Red. Red was smooth, very smooth. and a really nice guy, with a really nice smile. so me being the me that i am, walked smoothly over to Red and introduced myself.

'no i want you to be on my team. be my confidant...'

Red and i became fast friends, with an obvious sexual attraction breathing like that girlfriend who's always the 3rd wheel. lunchs, emails, we grew close.

'so you want me to be your chick?'

and then Red told me he was 'domesticated'... what the fuck? domesticated?! yes and with a beautiful child at home. at that very moment, my girlfriend became an annoyance and i told her we could no longer be friends.

'...appreciate the fact that i was real with mine'

months have gone by, and while Red and i have remained close, and have gotten closer, that line thick and yellow bears no smudges, no evidence of being crossed.

until he said after many months of me saying no...
'doesn't matter cause you know i still want you'

and the worst part about it.... i actually thought.... 'umm why not?'

hold up, i know why not! as much as i don't know wifey from eve, she's a fellow woman, a sister, someone who is in one or many ways just like me. what would i be saying to go behind a sister's back and be with her man? and aside from that 'karma is a bitch in a red dress' (la.moi).... enough said.

a couple of years ago, i would have thought nothing to be the other woman, i even fantasized about it, *playing devils advocate* there are benefits to being the other woman, one being that the relationship will go nowhere. the man will rarely to never leave his fam for the other woman, and that's what some women want, the freedom of the single life with the affections and perks of a relationship. and when it ends, a clean break (sometimes not so clean though, because someone is bound to catch feelings)

'...i ain't trying to put shackles on your feet'

'i think you should do it, just try it and see'

but i'm not one of those women anymore, i wouldn't feel comfortable knowing my good friend Red is loving on me, while the mother of his child is waiting for him to come home....smelling like me, his tongue tasting like me, his fingers still tracing me, his clothes sex funky.

Red, if you were really my friend, you would cherish me, is that all i am worth to you, the title of the other woman? giving it another name, (chick, girlfriend, ride ot die) will not change the meaning of the word... slut, homewrecker, whore, kept woman.

'not even... we down for life.... you already know i enjoy your company, creativity, and spunk...we goin get it in'

'ummm... why not?'

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my week in texts

:i miss you a lot. i don't know if you feel the same, but that's how i feel.... how's class?:

:... hard as a rock and still waiting.:

:there was a really cool prof here that's a poet and a milk chocolate version of you in 40 yrs.:

:remember irv the white guy from the game? jewish guy with glasses? he's an extra in a car commercial lol funny as hell.:

:fiyahh frigin BUNN!!! why did the blind lady just light up all the sexual deviants a while ago. lol frigin ass funny.:

:you are a fantasy... cause you can't be real.:

:typical trait of an amateur smoker: allowing cigarette ash to fall onto lap unexpectedly while driving.:

:not even... we down for life... U already know i enjoy your company, creativity and spunk... we goin get it in.:

:if i had a nickel everytime i saw someone beautiful as you, i would have 5 cents.:

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confessions of a webcam whore: fantasies rn't real honey

“i want to see u drip, so drip for me”

“my pussi is fkn tired, i don’t know if she can drip anymore”
“come try for me, i want to cum for u”
“she’s sore, got a work out today”
“you played with her today, or ur boy?”
smiling... “yeah, the boy”
“okay, i just want u to do that tongue thing u do while i jerk off, and ur ass clap”
“i feel like such a webcam whore, fk, not cool”
“ur not love, trust me, ur more like my web fantasy”

{i can see you smiling, it's still mesmorizing}
“uh huh, whatever.... fantasies rn’t real honey”

“u make me so hard”
“i should start making ur ass pay me”

“ur body get’s me weak”
...sigh..."i really should”
"let me take you out to dinner"
...sigh..."yeah right, no thanks"
"so this is the only way i'm gonna see you?"
...sigh..."yup"

“show me something love”
“give me a couple minutes”

webcam on, red light, leopard sheets, and my ass clapping for some kinda satisfaction.
feelings of liberation followed with feelings of “what the fk am i doing?”

“ur fking sexy”
smiling, no, i'm laughing.... “i fking know it”

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