Scrubs Need not Apply

>> 5.11.2012

People always seem to ask this question, now more than ever as the roles of men and women have drastically changed throughout the course of time.

'Who pays on the first date'

Now, as much as I believe in independent women taking care of themselves and not depending on a man for happiness, security, etc.... I still have a lot of old fashioned-ness inside of me when it comes to the idea of a committed relationship or marriage. I am a very independent woman, I am more than capable of taking care of myself, and I have always been happy(ier) single, however saying all of that, I believe when it comes to dating...*drum roll please*... the man should pay.

My reasoning behind this is simple. I am now 29 years old, I no longer date for fun, I do not have that kind of time to waste, my qualities in a potential mate reveal the role I expect my husband to have in our marriage and in our home. I expect my husband to be a provider. That is an indisputable strength of a good man, a good man measures himself by how well he is able to provide for his family and take care of his queen. Not only that, if he is expecting to woo me from my single life of fab, he needs to be able to keep me, and live with me in the lifestyle I am accustomed to.

So when he asks me out on the first date, he is setting himself up to show me he can take care of me, and I'm not going to believe in him as a provider if he can't even pay for a meal.

And forget about going dutch. The last man who played that one-two step with me was not granted the joys of a 2nd date. Pay for the movie my ass. If the dating progresses into a committed relationship/partnership, I have no problem paying, and treating him to outings, but on the first few dates, what we have is not a partnership, it's a job application.

And what the men do not know is, I view the first few dates as a tool to see how they respond to, react to, and treat money. If they use money, and reasonable to good treatment as a bargaining tool for sex in the back of the lac or sexual favours then I know they will not be shit for me.

Some people may see my view as a bit harsh, and that's ok. The fact of the matter is, I know what I want, and I know what I expect from the men who want to be in my life, and if you can't hang, you just can't hang.



Minnie May 11, 2012 at 10:14 PM  

I feel the same way, If the guy initiates a date, then he should pay, but mama.didn't raise no fool, I always have money just in case dude gets cheap so I can pay for my dinner and a taxi cab!

Poetic Estrus May 13, 2012 at 2:42 AM  

I concur with you. Dutch is not even the second date. Dutch is Ok you have my attention. And I don't do that meet me at the club crap. If you don't come to the club with me, then you don't meet me at my house afterwards.
Women need to take their respect back.

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