let's talk about....talking

let's talk relationships today.

there are many key components in a successful relationship, and as much as everyone has unique, specific situations, some keys are universal. like communication.

in my own relationship I've been questioning if mr. griffin has lost his sexual desire towards me, since the last weekend in april, he's been incredibly stiff (and the not the kind of stiff i love either). 

in our relationship his love language is physical touch and affection, meaning he's the touchy feely one, and he is always trying to get it in. except for the last month. 

here is the back story: mr. griffin and i recently found out there is a bun in the oven. so instantly my hormone ridden emotional mind started thinking 'is he not attracted to me because i'm pregnant?' 'is he losing interest in me?' 'why doesn't he roll over and wake me up in the middle of night, with his penis slipping into my vagina anymore?'

here is where communication comes in.

i finally lay it out to mr. griffin 'baby, i miss you, and i miss merging with you....why are you keeping yourself from me?'

and his response blew my mind 'first stages of pregnancy are a sensitive time. you speak constantly of not feeling comfortable. i fail to see how merging will ease that....i guess i don't feel comfortable at the moment while you are uneasy with your body'

-__- 

baby.........why didn't you just tell me that from the beginning?!?!?!?!?!

sometimes we make the unjust decision of what we want to communicate versus what we feel does not need to be said. certain feelings, opinions, and thoughts are held hostage by silence until someone else reaches their breakage point and raises questions. in light of that however a lot of situations and assumptions can be avoided if things are communicated. now, i'm not saying to get willy nilly with loose lips and start chatting everything, but if you decide to be more in tune with your surroundings, with yourself and with your significant other, and the air will be a lot cleaner.

(now to plan the taking back of my penis)

*kisses*

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Scrubs Need not Apply

People always seem to ask this question, now more than ever as the roles of men and women have drastically changed throughout the course of time.

'Who pays on the first date'

Now, as much as I believe in independent women taking care of themselves and not depending on a man for happiness, security, etc.... I still have a lot of old fashioned-ness inside of me when it comes to the idea of a committed relationship or marriage. I am a very independent woman, I am more than capable of taking care of myself, and I have always been happy(ier) single, however saying all of that, I believe when it comes to dating...*drum roll please*... the man should pay.

My reasoning behind this is simple. I am now 29 years old, I no longer date for fun, I do not have that kind of time to waste, my qualities in a potential mate reveal the role I expect my husband to have in our marriage and in our home. I expect my husband to be a provider. That is an indisputable strength of a good man, a good man measures himself by how well he is able to provide for his family and take care of his queen. Not only that, if he is expecting to woo me from my single life of fab, he needs to be able to keep me, and live with me in the lifestyle I am accustomed to.

So when he asks me out on the first date, he is setting himself up to show me he can take care of me, and I'm not going to believe in him as a provider if he can't even pay for a meal.

And forget about going dutch. The last man who played that one-two step with me was not granted the joys of a 2nd date. Pay for the movie my ass. If the dating progresses into a committed relationship/partnership, I have no problem paying, and treating him to outings, but on the first few dates, what we have is not a partnership, it's a job application.

And what the men do not know is, I view the first few dates as a tool to see how they respond to, react to, and treat money. If they use money, and reasonable to good treatment as a bargaining tool for sex in the back of the lac or sexual favours then I know they will not be shit for me.

Some people may see my view as a bit harsh, and that's ok. The fact of the matter is, I know what I want, and I know what I expect from the men who want to be in my life, and if you can't hang, you just can't hang.

kisses.

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